What my Aging Dog Can Show Us about Humanity
We adopted our dog Nacho about 13 years ago. He is a medium sized pitbull mix and we estimate he was about two years old. All we know of his history is that he was found “on the streets of Camden, NJ”. While we were not new to dog ownership, we had raised our previous two dogs from the time they were puppies and they were extremely easy going souls temperament wise. While Nacho seemed to acclimate quickly to our house and our family, he proved to be anxious and distrusting of other people and dogs. Even at home with our family we noted he struggled to “settle”; he was hypervigilant and if he were a human you might describe him as “a worrier”. As a young adult, he would often cower and then snap at any person who came into the house and at any dog who came up to him during walks. We would put him in a separate room when company came over, and slowly and carefully introduce him to family members or friends, but he never got to greet repair people or any individual who was not going to be a frequent visitor. In many ways I knew this isolation likely perpetuated his fear, but Nacho always seemed so distressed around other people that we settled into this routine for years. We struggled to figure out what he needed to be at ease.
Fast forward to now, our 15-year-old Nacho has trouble seeing, hearing, holding his bladder for more than a couple of hours, and walking up and down stairs without assistance. He sometimes goes a day without eating due to tummy trouble. His leash walks are brief and close to home. Sounds like a recipe for potential misery, right? The thing is, as far as we can tell, he’s pretty dang happy and the calmest he’s ever been. He greets people and other dogs peacefully and briefly before retreating to his bed or back towards us. His biggest excitement of the day is the opportunity to sniff the trees on our block and he seems to live for his after dinner treats. Any delay in treat giving is met with slow stomping and some huffing. He’s in many ways living his best geriatric life.
Growing older is absolutely one of the main reasons for this shift, I realize, but might it also be the fact that his needs are being completely met? It has taken some time, but we have earned this highly sensitive dog’s trust, and his anxiety has decreased. He seems to be enjoying his life despite his physical limits. When I work with people who are struggling with depression or anxiety or anger, one of the first questions I reflect on is, “What needs aren’t being met in this person’s life?” If we reflect on this question for ourselves when we’re struggling or for the people we care about, it can guide us with empathy towards taking steps to meet our needs and help others meet theirs. When needs are met, humanity (and Nacho) thrives.